Month: April 2014

Growing Up, Millennial

What does it mean to be an Adult? How do we become a productive and successful member of society?

Is it a tax bracket? A certain accessory? Do we just one day wake up and know that we are “Grown Ups”?

If we believe what is portrayed on TV (pick any reality TV show), as to what an adult looks like, many of us just aren’t cutting it.

When did actual talent, intelligence and ability become so underrated? When did those attributes become replaced by outrageous behavior and impossible busts? Is there any hope for those of us left with some iota of self-respect and pride?

But don’t lose hope here are some tips that might help along the way to becoming….an ADULT!

1. Become Financially Literate: Which means learning the in and out’s of money and how to make it WORK for YOU! (not the other way around) Getting the right information on budgeting, investments, saving and financial planning can save you a lot stress in the future and will put you in the place where you can be a little picky about; the jobs you take, travelling, housing etc.

2. Invest in Career Development: So maybe your working as a security guard or as a receptionist or dog walker to pay the bills but you have dreams of writing, cooking or fashion? Once you have a reasonable financial plan for yourself in place now is the time to find what you are truly passionate about and start making strides towards your goals. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you should immediately register in Grad/Technical school, I am all for going to school, but in reality deciding to go back to school takes a lot of consideration and you will definitely have to do a Pro-Con and a cost analysis list on that one, with exorbitant student loan rates and high tuition costs school may just not be a realistic option. So instead, look for opportunities to Intern. While most internships offer little to no pay, the skills and connections you will gain will be priceless as you go forward in your career and that is why this step is called an Investment, a little sacrifice now for a BIG pay-off later!

3. Be Social: No that doesn’t mean going out and getting wasted every chance you get, it means going out and connecting with people. The best advice I ever received during my long stint unemployed and dreaming of doing something more with my life, was to “Tell people what was going on with you and about all the plans you are making.” So that is exactly what I started doing on the occasions when I went to office parties/events/meet-ups, when people asked me “What are you up to?” I just told them, the truth, that I was out of work and looking for an entry-level position that will still allow me time to pursue my own personal projects. People instantly began connecting with me and would me gave advice, recommendations for where I could look for work, CONTACTS (we are talking names, numbers and email addresses!), and also encouragement and ideas for my personal projects like this blog! It doesn’t hurt much (other than a sharp sting to your pride the first few times!) AND think of it as FREE ADVERTISING! Oh Yeah!

It is time we stop struggling and Start Living!

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

When Weight Stops Being the Issue

In today’s media there are countless images upholding the ideals of beauty. But for most of us around the world, those ideals portrayed in mass media do not reflect what we see around us nor what is in the mirror. But media has some options for us to “fix” what is “wrong” with us too; from quick-fix pills to fad diets and beyond. We have been led to believe that if only we comply with the ideals of beauty we too can be happy and successful.

You too! Can go from this:

To this:

WHAT A LOAD OF BULL!
The truth is, that only way your weight contributes to your happiness and success in life is if YOU let it! And you can take that to the bank.

And this is a lesson I had to learn myself, the hard way. At my heaviest and most “miserable”, I would find myself thinking, “that if only I was skinny then I would have a boyfriend or more friends, I would be beautiful, people would just like me etc.” and so one day I decided, that I was going to seriously commit to losing the weight and I did it! But I will tell you, after shedding almost 1/3 of my weight (about 70 lbs) no boyfriend magically appeared nor did any new friends. I was still the shy, awkward girl who preferred reading and Korean dramas to meeting people, that I was before I lost the weight. Same person just in a smaller package.

So that got me thinking, What if the Weight wasn’t the Issue? and what a scary thought that was because for so long my weight had been the great “enemy” standing in the way, to me frolicking in the sun with all my bffs. What the hell? does that mean there is something actually wrong with me? GASP

That isn’t what I had signed up for! I was just supposed to loose the weight and then be happy! Where did this self-examination step come from! Nuh-uh!

But all kidding aside, this is not to say that I regret losing the weight because by doing so I have gained so much from losing; I am more comfortable in my skin, my confidence grows everyday to try new things and see new places. I have had the chance to start learning more about myself; how people perceive me, how I perceive myself, and how want to be viewed by myself and by others.

The main take-away from all this is; if you want to lose the weight, that’s great! I applaud you!

But realize this:
1. You are beautiful/handsome, as you are!
2. You are not only worthy but DESERVING of love and all the things your heart desires, not matter what size jeans you are wearing!
3. There are no limits to where life can take you, as long as your get out of your own way!
4. It is not your duty to take on other people’s crap, misguided notions and/or prejudices BUT you can take on the duty of proving them all wrong!

When Weight Stops Being the Issue then we can start to figure out what really matters and start making ourselves the change we wish to see in the world around us.

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Fattitude: A Body Positive Documentary- Fighting Against the Haters

Recently, (as in the weeks leading to the creation of this blog) I have been introduced to wonderful world of Body Love and the Body Positive Movement. As someone who has struggled with her weight all her life, I can honestly say that this “movement” (some reason calling it a movement sounds wrong, why haven’t we women been loving our bodies, just as they are?) has been a long time coming and I wish I had known about it years ago. But have no fear I know about them now and I aim to join their fierce and fabulous ranks! That’s why when I saw one of my fave bloggers The Militant Baker posted on twitter today about Lindsey Avrill and Viridianna Lieberman’s project and the just plain ole nasty hate it had been receiving online I just had to spread the word too.

FattitudeBanner-Color

What is this FATTITUDE project?
According to the documentary’s kickstarter, Fattitude is a feature-length independent documentary that exposes how fat hatred permeates our popular culture, spreading the message that fat is bad and in turn forwarding the idea that being cruel, unkind or downright unjust to a fat person is acceptable behavior. Since announcing the project Avrill and all those associated with the project have been bombarded with cyber bullies that have gone unnecessarily as far as harassing their families after being reported for abuse on Facebook and Twitter.

If you doubt for a minute that fat discrimination does indeed exist then read Avrill’s account on what has happened since announcing the project here and here If that isn’t enough just go to your favorite search engine and type in: “Fat people are/aren’t” and see what pops up in the search guide.

Ways to Help

1. Donate to the Kickstarter campaign. Every contribution counts to getting this project funded! If you can’t give, send the page along to others who might be able to!

2. Like their page on Facebook and invite your friends to do the same!

3. Spread the word through your own social media, Tweet it, Like it, Pin it and whatever else everyone out there is doing today!

Let’s stop the hate and support a good cause whether if it’s through donations or just by spreading the word. Everyone deserves the chance to love themselves!

FYI: I am in no ways connected to this project, just doing my part to support a good cause and spreading the word!

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Satisfy Your Style Cravings

Now that a warmer season is upon us (not really here in NYC but you get the point!) and as we begin to shed those heavy layers of winter and catch up on all of the runways hottest new looks in anticipation of fabulous rooftop parties and splashing away at the shore.

If you are feeling the urge to start rocking crop tops and floral prints or you’re feeling bold in blue this season; no matter what your body type there are many options for the budget conscious as well as the generously built (you like that huh? LOL!).

Take advantage of holiday sales!
Major retailers like ASOS.com from the UK, which offers great deals for all they have just launched ASOS Tall as well as having a Plus and Curve line! (No flood hemlines or popping buttons!) AND they have free shipping BOTH ways! AND (I’m running out of breath here…whew) they are offering a 20% off on the ASOS label! (YAY!) So you don’t need to feel guilty about purchases like these:
outfit_large_d40781b9-2633-4fa9-bad1-2466f0d79067

H&M, also (not to exculde Forever21 and Macys in-store and online just to name a few) has an awesome online sale going on this weekend with items up to 50% off, so in between the Easter festivities with the family be sure to make time to check out these and other sales for Easter weekend and Satisfy Your Style Cravings!

What items do you have your eye on this weekend? Leave a comment below about where you looking to indulge!

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Straight from CEO’s office: Getting Your Career Moving Forward

I will admit, normally I don’t watch very much TV. Some how during the course of the day, with all the running around I do I can’t really commit to very much time in front of the tube. That being said, one morning while I was lazing about in front of the door, trying to convince myself to leave the house for work. I happened to catch a solid fifteen minutes of a program highlighting female (African-American) executives and their tips for job success.

Now, despite these ladies working in “Corporate America” I believe that the heart of their message applies no matter what field you may work in or the color of your skin.

Here are their main points:

1. Get yourself a sponsor

2. Find a mentor

Now while these positions in your life may seem similar their roles and your relationship with them is vastly different.A Sponsor is the individual, within your organization, who is “investing” in your career and its growth. They will normally recognize your potential for more and they want to help you move forward. on the other hand a Mentor may not work in your org, or even in your field but understands who you are, what you’re about and has some advice as to how you may go about getting to where you want to be.

Characteristics to look for when choosing your Sponsor: The number one most important attribute for your Sponsor is that they are “at the table”, which means that they are apart of the discussion as to the goings on in your organization, they are a decision maker.These people will almost always be in Managerial/Directorial positions. You want to make sure that your sponsor is, in the know as to what new opportunities are presenting themselves around the office. Why, you ask? The reason is simple, and it is all about power. Power to influence projects and the teams that work on them as well the power to give you make your presence known within the organization.


Feeling stuck in your current position? You probably don’t have a sponsor (or a good one at least)

So when considering someone to approach to be your sponsor, ask yourself these questions;

1. Is he/she in a position to know about new opportunities and can they make me apart of them?

2. Will they actually help me?

Now that second question is always a tricky one and to be completely honest there is no sure fire way to tell who is actually willing to help and who is all talk. The important thing is to keep talking to people and keeping your work standard high. Because there is no rule saying you can only have one but whoever and however many you have, they will expect you to deliver on what they send your way. So just keep that in mind, it may be time to step your game up.

Characteristics when considering a Mentor: When considering someone to be your mentor it is all about the relationship you have with them. Your mentor is more of a guide than a vehicle in your career. Your mentor should be someone who you feel comfortable enough to have drinks with after work, ask them the questions you are too nervous to ask your peers/supervisors (was that really that inappropriate? I think I need to quit my job, what do you think?) I can’t stress enough that they know you and your goals and that you value their opinions.

Now while your Sponsor must be in your direct field, Mentors can be someone; from outside of the office or a different field but again it is all about finding someone who is a good fit for you and your situation. You don’t want to choose someone who has never had a job in an office when your goal is to a CFO in a Top 5 company?


NUH-UH! Try again!

Is this all it takes to being successful in your career? Of course not! But by correctly utilizing these tools can must certainly jump start your career!

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Starting with Me

I have always been a person with a plan in life, and at 12 or 13 what could possibly be simpler than to graduate from a good college, go into medicine, take a European tour, start working!; for oodles of money, meet “the one”, get married, buy a house, have kids and then in my later years retire and travel the world. Simple right? That is until life starts getting into the way and I can’t help wondering where it is that I went wrong where others had succeeded….

That was probably my first mistake. What was that mistake you ask? It all seemed perfectly reasonable to me. You say. Well allow me to enlighten you:

“Humans plan. God laughs.”

I did graduate from a good college? Yes, I did but never managed to enter the medicine field (much to my parents chagrin)nor did I ever manage to take that European tour (other than the few weeks I spent studying in Spain), make oodles of money working a great job and I still live at home with my Dad (love ya!) and I am still very much single. But that isn’t the problem.

It is in those weak moments (that make us all human) when I start getting the LinkedIn updates about classmates being promoted and Facebook is telling yet ANOTHER person is engaged/married/pregnant when I start to doubt myself and the choices that I made in my life that make me feel unworthy, incapable and essentially just… less.

But why should we (or I, maybe I am all alone on this one) feel any way but happy about others happiness? I will tell you why, it is because we have been living our lives in comparison to others.

Do you get a case of the giggles when your friend/frenemy gets dumped? or Do you secretly wish they would trip and fall on their face when you feel like you are being out-shined by their awesomeness? If yes, then you too may be suffering from a Life-by- comparison.

Sabrina wait, isn’t that just plan ole’ jealousy? To me? Yes and no while jealousy does exhibit the same emotional symptoms it is in the mental barring that all the difference is made. It is when we begin to doubt our own worth and purpose, due to someone else’s achievements/attributes.

Example: As previously mentioned, I have two older sisters, both of which are solidly into their careers and living pretty good lives; making good money and living it up, Me? I can’t for the life of me get it together, I can’t even begin to tell you; the number of projects I have started that have gone no where and the number of jobs that went no where, all just to wind up still at home and still broke and trying to “work it out”.

Does that mean I doing something wrong? Do I now need to re-evaluate my whole life? Do I punish them in little ways for my own perceived short comings? I want to, I will admit it. Especially when I just need to figure out how I am going to pay my cell and student loans this month and one of them tells me she is headed off to Europe on a mini tour in two weeks and if I can give her a ride to the airport?

While I could cry like Ann (but I have a REALLY ugly cry-face and it makes me swell) and I want more for myself and while I may still be working on figuring it out I just want the world to know:

And so it all comes back to me (and each and every one of us in our own lives). It is what I aim to accomplish through The Un-Life I want to reclaim all the possibilities of my future while discarding my insecurities of today.

“The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the buts you use today.”-Les Brown

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Oh, that these days should be mine…

Recently (for the last few years, actually) I haven’t been able to get these words from my head. I have lived my life trailing behind two older sisters; watching them participate in take-your-daughter to work days, participating in candy stripe programs, getting employed with Bloomberg (at the height of his reign in DC)and I can’t help but feel like I keep getting the shit end of this here stick.

These days there isn’t much (traditional) work to be had out in the “real” world but there sure are bills to pay and expensive educations that has yet to appreciate. Sure, you can work the holiday season at the major retailers (that haven’t closed down yet) or take a job just for the moment to get you out of the house and keep you sane. But it hardly seems fair at the end of the day.

So what is a young millennial to do? As much as we read that employment is slowly on the upswing and the administration has funded the creation of thousands of jobs across the country what does that actually mean for the recent-grad/part-timer/entry-level worker, who is sending out 30-50 resumes a day?

Well let’s think about it this way. Here in the US college aged individuals graduate 3x a year (late spring, late summer, mid-winter usually) And let’s just say that each class that graduates is on average 2,000 students who are looking to enter the work force as entry-level/interns. Now, we will apply that to a just the public state and city schools here in NY (64-State and 23-City)
So that’s: 6,000 students (entering the work force per year) x 87 schools (just here in NY)

For a grand total of 522,000 NEW jobs needed to employ each person a year.

And let me just tell you. I have been out of school for 5 years! And I still haven’t seen the benefit of any of those government sponsored jobs! Those jobs that they say, are opening up; are not ones that the young work force are qualified for. But that doesn’t mean you couldn’t get your degree and your dream job within the same month. But it just doesn’t happen that way for many anymore. The majority of recent graduates (3-5 years) are working minimum wage; if not for free (interning).

So what do I say to my sister who complains that she hates her 90k (starting) a year job?
images (8)

Not that they (my sisters and just about anyone who is gainfully employed) are to blame, it is my own fault for being born last. It isn’t their fault that when I was ever finally old enough to participate in these programs they were all of a sudden discontinued due to; budget cuts, economic crises and political ambition. Nor can they be blamed that during interviews for entry-level positions that I am sitting next to people with 14 years working experience who are more than willing to take a pay cut while all I have is the theory learned in school.

Is it their fault? Nooooo

Do I still resent them? Yesssss

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS

Hello world!

Like many of you twenty somethings out there; I too am struggling to find my place in the world (and let me tell you it has been a struggle) from weight loss to weight gain, unemployment to landing the “for right now” job and falling victim to the “I hate my job but I need to eat this month” blues.

I know it all! I have been there, I am STILL there most days.

Let me tell you something, it is not a good look.

I know there are a lot of us out there who believed in that dream of graduating from college and then landing a dream job to then move into your own place and start your fabulous life!

How has that been working out for you? Me? Not so good.
What did we work so hard for? All those years of schooling and LOANS seem as though they were for nothing now.

This blog is dedicated to people like me who are ready to reclaim there dreams and work for a better life all while taking the time to reflect on the lessons learned and draw inspiration from what is around us.

So let’s raise our glasses to the life unexamined and told just like it is UNAPOLOGETICALLY!

My name is Sabrina and I will be your tour guide.

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Email
  • RSS