Category: Making it Work

Let Me Bless You; Grown Woman Truths

Let me bless with some of my own grown woman truths....It isn't about forgiving them for their sake but for yours because they aren't worth the power holding that grudge gives them.

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#StartAnywhere: Trying Something New

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So it  has been a about a week and a half since my last post and don’t worry this wasn’t another “break” I was just busy doing some travelling for work and internet surprisingly enough was pretty hard to come by. Even though I was unable to post and I was missing being able to watch videos in the evenings I was had at work on my latest project!

I am officially on YOUTUBE!!!!

 

I can not possibly find the words to how exciting it is to finally be able to announce the launch of my channel since it has been only a thought and constant worry on my mind for a long time now, which brings me to the point of this post and my #StartAnywhere motivation.

Oftentimes we all have plans to start something, create something, go someplace etc. but for some reason we are all to willing to let these plans and ideas fall by the way side while we wait for the “perfect set-up” ie; when I… lose 10 pounds, get a better job, move, get a to a better “place” etc. but when is life ever going to be perfect? If you answered, Never, then you are correct! And take it from someone who has been there….that is why I am so proud of myself, I am officially giving myself a pat on the back here, for stopping the excuses and anxiety and just starting; right here, right now with just what I have got and who I am in this very moment. I know that it isn’t perfect and just exactly I has I been imagining it to have been but what it is, is real, it is publically accessable piece of myself as I take these baby steps in trying something out of my comfort zone– hoping that it will resonate with someone and that you will comeback to watch next time and that is all I can do and hope for.

And I have realized that, that is okay…

Because beauty is found in the journey….

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What are putting off until tomorrow?

What are you willing to start today?

 

Until Next Time,

 

P.S. Don’t forget to check out the channel! Let’s share this adventure!!!

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No Such Thing as a Procrastinator?

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Procrastinate [proh-kras-tuh-neyt, pruh-] 1. (verb w/o object): to defer action; delay. 2. (verb w/ object): to put off until another day or time; defer; delay>

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Procrastination is alive and well and this is exactly what my life tends to look like each week and it is a concept that I am sure many of us have struggled with; getting assignments done on time for work and or school, getting back to the gym, filing taxes, getting ready for the day… I mean anything really could be put off until later and I know for myself for no real conscience reason that I was aware of on most things I subscribed to the theory “Why do today, what you can do tomorrow?” and saw no problem with it at all! Don’t get me wrong it all got done in the end but…. right now? -Maybe tomorrow…

At least that is what I thought before finding this short clip from the Steve Harvey show where the Hip Hop Preacher Eric Thomas shared his point of view on the subject:

Which got me thinking… could he be right? Is it really just a matter of making the items on my to do list; like writing this blog, getting my work assignments completed ahead of schedule, completing my novel (check back for more on the blog about that particular project!) a priority to myself? Seems simple enough almost too easy to really be the solution but definitely worth a try.

But where does one start?

Start with defining for yourself what is really important to you not what other people tell you should be a priority. Does your job feel like it is dragging each week? Well then maybe it is time to seek other methods of earning an income if you are desperate need for a change or do you keep putting off starting that diet or workout schedule? Figure out what you can actually manage- maybe making commitments to walk more, make better food choices at every meal will be more realistic (and less overwhelming) than going to the gym 5-6 days for 1-2 hours a week…What is important here is finding that motivation or process that you can actually commit to that registers to you in a way that it doesn’t feel like some huge burden that ends up looming over your head like a dark cloud. Get moving and get excited!

And be the #boss you where meant to be!

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but for now….

via GIPHY

 

Until Next Time!

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A Sip and See Event

There is nothing like going out and meeting like-minded people who are working hard trying to make a name for themselves in this “dog eat dog” society that we live in. It is even better when there is a chance to support others in their work just by showing up and having a cocktail or two.

One such event that I had the opportunity to attend was the Trailer Sip and See event for the New Webseries 195 Lewis, that story revolves around Black, Queer and Poly love (polyamorous, if you didn’t know) and all the crazy, beautiful and funny things that happen in between.

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Which was held at the awesome Kalahari Gallery right in Brooklyn, (talk about an easy commute home, YAY!) Any who, I found out about the event because it just so happens that my good friend D Ajane Carlton (who was great enough to guest post here at The Un-Life) happens to be one of the stars!

IMAG0289
A Picture of only some of the cast and crew of the web series, D is the one with the faux-hock in the front.

The night was a buzz with drinks and laughter supporters poured in take a look at the Pilot listen to the enlightened words of poets and sway to musical musings of The Peace and Body Roll DUO Boomscat all while sipping on cool refreshing beverages and even munching away on tasty tofu tacos. All in all it was a great experience and a fun event to tie up the end of a work day.

Although there has been no official word on when the series will be available for general consumption (as they have been submitted to festivals.) This is a project I hope many people will keep on the look out for and support once it is out there.

I know I will be. Congrats to the cast and crew on your preview and good luck as you move forward!

Until next time,
Sabrina

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I’m 24 and Starting My First Job; Help!

Trying to forget the major crap hole my life feels like at the moment, I will admit, has been a daily process and I have been struggling about what I should post about this week. That is when it hit me. One way to forget my troubles is to delve myself into the troubles of others and hopefully give a few helpful tips to help someone else. So here I have another question, from one of my favorite sources XOJane:

The Question:
This might seem stupid, but I’m starting a new job, and I’m really anxious about general office policy. I’m going to be a staff accountant for a Midwestern hotel management company – and my second week will be out-of-town, staying in a hotel in a big Midwestern city, alone.
I was never given an official manual, like I have been at other positions – I’m expected to show up one day to do my HR paperwork, and then begin training the next day. I know it sound superficial, but most of my questions are just sort of basic office things that I actually don’t know:
-What is generally accepted business attire? I’m 24 and the new position is as an accountant. Does it vary between offices? Areas of the country? Or between types of accounting? What should I do if no one tells me???
-What should I expect for discussions of benefits and the like? Am I supposed to try to bargain for the best? How do I know what’s reasonable?
-What will I do for lunch? I know this sounds lame, but I live five minutes from the corporate office. I don’t want to go home and ignore everyone, but how do you get into a lunch group??
Help a girl out! Any advice you readers can give me is appreciated – including (and especially) advice on first week outfits and behavior. Help me start off professionally!

My Answer:
There probably is nothing that sucks quite as much as being the “New Kid on the Block” besides the feelings of excitement and adventure that I am sure are there some where. One also has to contend with the nerves and uncertainty that sometimes feel like they will overwhelm you and you will end up tripping on a piece of carpet in front of everyone and spilling your drink all over your new outfit and have to spend the rest of the day smelling like hot sticky sweetness and looking as though you can’t be trusted with an “adult” cup (I’m having a flashback i think) but don’t worry from my misery I’m sure you can find triumph and avoid some less than desirable situations.

First off, congrats on your grown-up job! Score one for you!

Alright enough of that on to your questions:

– My general rule of thumb (no matter where you are working) for your first week of work when it comes to attire; “Always go for a more formal look.” While I am sure that during the interview process (if it was in the office) you got the chance to see some of the other people you will be working with and what they were wearing, take a cue from them and just go more formal by one notch. So if everyone is in a relaxed business casual; go in wearing business casual by adding a blazer or a cardigan shell to your look. Continue along this vein until you get a real feel for the work place and what rules and aren’t acceptable for the dress code. Remember your new, your coworkers have been there longer and probably have some leeway as to what they can get away with but YOU just got the job so put in some more effort in the beginning. So that means no matter how nice your jeans are STAY AWAY and opt for mix-and-match separates that aren’t; too tight, too short, too revealing and derogatory (I shouldn’t have to add that last one but just in case) If you want them to take you seriously then dress accordingly.

– Now when it comes to the discussion of benefits normally that happens before you receive the offer when they talk to you about the salary being offered. So if there was a second interview that would have been the time to talk salary, PTO (Paid Time Off) etc. But since your next time in the office will be to do your paperwork you can assume that has already been set in stone and they will probably offer you the standard for the position. It seems that this will be an entry-level position for you so you really don’t have a leg to stand on thus there will be no negotiation. Come back in a year (probably more like 3-5) when you have some more experience with the company and something that only you can bring to the table and I am sure they will be willing to talk numbers with you then. Also expect to receive your employees “Handbook” when you go to fill out your paperwork, if not then ask if there is an orientation for new employees (I have worked at places where I didn’t have orientation until about 3 weeks on the job, so it happens.)

-Since you will only be at headquarters for one week before heading on the road, it is most important for you to try to break the ice with your co-workers as soon as possible. So don’t even THINK about going home for lunch! What more perfect time then when everyone is filling their bellies than to pick their brains on the latest goings-ons in the office? When you go in for paperwork, ask if you can take a walk around the office, if that isn’t appropriate (although I don’t really see why not but what do I know?) see if there is a communal lunch area or are people eating at their desks (note if there are a take-out menus hanging around if you go in the morning) or ASK HR where people normally go for lunch in the area. You never know your company might be one of the few that have a cafeteria where everyone goes to eat or they brown bag it for lunch and gather in common areas. Basically my point here is to not close yourself off from people and use the limited amount of time you have before going out of office to ask for opinions and tips from people who have already been the new kids.

We have all been where you are and will probably be there again so don’t freak over the small stuff and just breathe, it will all work out I promise. Don’t forget to check out my Tips from the CEO’s Office post to get some more helpful tips for surviving the work place.

Well then, until next time folks!
Sabrina

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August has not been kind

I remember thinking that 2014 was going to be an AWESOME year! I was going to do all these exciting things and meet fabulous people, not that 2014 is anywhere near over but, still… Can I just say that it has been a very hard couple of weeks for me? Not only did I learn that there was some issues with my Dad’s job (don’t even get me started on the pure fuckery that is going on with that situation) but for all to be quickly followed by car accident, I am just too tired for words. Thankfully, no one was injured in the accident although there was some damages to both vehicle’s , it is just material things, right? Now it is just getting through all of the red tape with the insurance companies and what not.

So needless to say, it has been a little hard to get in the right head space to write a post here and share with all of you. It has been a bit of a mad house but hopefully we are turning a corner and there will be better days ahead (keep the hope alive!) I am hoping that this week will be more of a smooth sailing and I can share some other news with you guys soon. Here is to September being better!!!

Sorry for this short one but I felt the need to at least say something today. Keep tuning in for resumption of posts this week!! Pray for a sister!

Until next time,
Sabrina

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HELP! I hate my Job!

Things have been a little hectic on my end with work, home and everything in between so I haven’t been able to post as often as I like and I am trying to do better! Anywho, it has been a while since I have done a career related post and an advice one so here is a perfect question I found on the Advice forum on XoJane, that I feel many can relate to:

I need your advice. I feel majorly unappreciated at my job and I so want to quit. Here’s the thing: I want to leave the corporate world and I’m scared to quit without having another job lined up. The problem is, I know if I find another job just like this one (sitting in a cube farm for 8 hours a day), I’ll be just as miserable. Also, I don’t know exactly what I want my next career move to be, but I know I want it to involve working for myself and doing my own thing. Any tips for what I can do in the meantime so I don’t feel like I”m staring down the deep dark hole of depression every workday?

My Answer:

First off let me just say, I feel you!, I get it no one wants to slave away at some job where you feel as though you are just another cog in machine that is easily replaceable and quite often overlooked. You have brains, ambition and drive so why should you spend your day pushing papers and fighting the copy machine. You are capable of so much more if only the higher-ups would give you the chance! I. Get. It. I know your pain, really I do. BUT I feel like I need to say something that might hurt your feelings a little bit; while I empathize with your feelings, I’m going to be the one to say to you that your situation is not out of the ordinary nor special so you are going to have to put your grown draws on and deal!

The amount of people who would kill to be sitting at a desk working regular hours and receiving regular pay should negate any sort of feelings you maybe harboring about how much your situation sucks. This isn’t to disregard the way that you feel at all but sometimes being a grown up means finding perspective and seeing the bigger picture. Because there really aren’t many people who don’t hate their jobs too but somehow they still manage to get; the job done day in and day out, pay their bills and provide for themselves/families.

You say that you want to leave the Corporate work place and venture into working for yourself. Great! Work is trending in that direction so there is no time like the present to branch out but you don’t know what it is you want to do? So what you are not going to do is actually quit your job, number one. What I think you should start doing is researching what skills you already have and how you can turn that into freelance work, take some classes to build up a skill set/trade that people will want to pay for or start networking with people who own their own businesses that you might be interested in for yourself maybe they could use some volunteers for their events or are willing to let you into their space to intern. Whichever method you choose just know it is going to take a huge commitment from you. Freelancers and start-up business owners that I know always talk about the years they spent working their regular day jobs (that they too hated) just to rush home and spend their every free moment working on their side projects for their business. For many of them it took 3-5 years (average) of seeing profits to actually make that final jump to solely working on their own business. So take the time to research both online and in person before making any huge changes.

Meanwhile surviving your current job situation is all about your attitude. So before you are tempted to commit serious to anyone, start looking for things that you do enjoy about your office; maybe it is an easy commute, you have a cool friend who you talk to about your plans or maybe there is a shop nearby that has the most amazing pastries/coffee/clothes/after work drink special. Find something that doesn’t drive you completely insane about the place and focus more on that then how much you hate it. The more you dwell mentally on what you hate, the more you will see to hate. So start thinking positive thoughts because really it isn’t the end of the world and frown lines are a bitch to get rid of.

Have questions you would like me to answer or discuss send them on over on the contact page!

Until next time!
Sabrina

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Claiming My Skin with THE SKIN TYPE SOLUTION by Leslie Baumann

I don’t know how many different products I have encountered, purchased, used, hated and loved then hated after a couple of months; trying to get beautiful and clear skin. I have tried over the counter creams and lotions to high-end scrubs and infomercial washes but nothing seemed to work and if it did work not for very long. Don’t even get me started on what the dermatologist prescribed me; I didn’t know my skin to look that color and burn so much. I have even tried changing my diet all for the sake of my skin but that just led to frustrations of a different sort.

So I will admit I became lazy about my skin; sleeping with make-up on, not sticking to my cleansing routine morning and night and even added caffeine back to my diet and as expected I BROKE OUT! Worse than ever before, I can’t even begin to explain what was going on with my skin. Not only where there pimples dotted across my face but they were red and angry. I just had to tell myself one day, I said, “Sabrina, you getting to old for this shit.” excuse my french but “Really skin? You going to have me looking like that?”

That is when I came across The Skin Type Solution by Leslie Baumann M.D.. Now when I say “came across” I mean that in the loosest of terms, it was more like I saw it on my sister’s bookshelf and stole it but you get what I mean. (Thanks Shelly!)

skinsolution

In her book, Dr. Baumann takes you through the process of learning first; the type of skin you have by answering a series of questions you will be able to define your skin type; Dry/Oily, Sensitive/Resistant, Non-Pigmented/Pigmented and Wrinkled/Tight. My skin type happens to be an OSNT combination, just in case you were curious. Once you have defined your skin type, you move on to your particular skin type’s chapter and learn more about what are the best ingredients, practices and products in regards to YOUR skin. Dr. Baumann makes product suggestions for you includes items at different price points for different budgets. Which is awesome since not every person can throw down $300 a month on skin care and would rather have the acne (I don’t blame you because what is the point of having pretty skin and can only afford to sit in your house!).

It has been about a month since I have been using the products suggested in her books and can I just say I am finally starting to love my skin. Although, I will tell you sometimes I am skin not as good as I should be about taking off my make-up and using all the products when I’m supposed (Hey, I’m trying!) to but there is definite improvement and well worth a try!

But don’t believe me, take a look at the book yourself and start reclaiming your beautiful and clear skin!

What are your tips/reads for great skin care? Leave a comment and let’s help each other out!

Until next time!
Sabrina

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