Category: Note Worthy Causes

5 Things Every Woman Should be Able to Do

#Adulting is hard as we all know and since there are no clear cut guidelines that define what it is to be a successful full fledge adult here is a list of a few things that I believe it is important that every women be able to do for herself in no particular order but all equally important despite your income, where you live or relationship status.

  1. Know how to be okay, being by yourself…

Knowing that there is a difference between being alone and being lonely and knowing what that difference is- can be difficult and takes a good bit of self reflection but it is worth the effort  and should not be discredited. Taking time to be along you realize that the world is bigger than you ever imagined and that your actual needs in life and the people you choose to fill yours with may be completely different. That is why I have always been a big believer in traveling solo. Without the opinions and desires of your crew/girls, discovering a new place alone, you get the opportunity to form your own experiences and discoveries about this new place and yourself as well! At the end of the day it comes down to this, if you can’t stand to be in your own company, why would anybody else?

 

2. Manage Your Money

Hey I get it, sometimes it isn’t about managing your money- it is about having money to manage! I remember my first couple of years out of college, probably during college as well, standing at check-out counters praying that my purchases would be able to clear my meager bank balance, “You will not return unto me void!” it was  kind of funny at that time, not really, but you know what isn’t funny -at all? Reaching the end of your twenties, thirties, forties and still having to pray over your purchases! Successfully managing your money is to; know how much you bring in, prioritizing your expenditures and a healthy indulgence in self-denial. Let us start really living within our means and get to a place where you can start saving money and then getting your savings to start working to make you  more money! Now that is sexy…

 

3. Feed Your Yourself

No one expects you to cook at a level to be a contestant for Top Chef but you also shouldn’t be a shoe in for America’s Worst Cook either. Having a few simple meals under your culinary belt will make a world of difference in your confidence and ability to function in life plus bonus points if these meals you can cook are well balanced and nutritional (sorry, box mac’ n cheese but this isn’t the place for you…) Listen, you don’t have to love cooking but you should be able to! Cooking is a life skill for a reason and you never know you might discover a new passion while learning!

 

4. Know Your Mind….

And know how to speak your truth (Let the church say AMEN!) This is a principle that affects every aspect of your life from your career, friendships to your relationship with family and romantic entanglements because knowing your mind is really knowing yourself, your desires, your limits, your worth and your needs. Healthy relationships can not be created or maintained if you have no sense of self. Not knowing where you stand is more than a being people pleaser we are talking about being a doormat and if you are willing to lay down your own opinions and feelings or you don’t even know what they might be– people will just walk right over you.

 

5. Care for Your Sister..

We are our sisters keepers and nothing exemplifies this more than one woman’s ability to uplift or support her fellow woman. There are enough forces in this world that want nothing more than to tear us down, so why should we do it to one another? In realizing that we are the standard by which the world operates we as women can change generations to come; with a smile, a kind word, an outstretched hand and a warm embrace. A woman who knows her own worth, her value and how to handle her business has no need to cut down others by shaming them for their choices.

 

Until Next Time!

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Weekend Rx: Treat Your Self

Today I want to make another confession to you my dear readers. I struggle with spending money. It isn’t that I am a complete Scrooge but somehow over the course of my post-college years trying to turn a dime into a dollar. I seem to have turned into a squirrel securing nuts before winter sets in.

Don’t for one second tell your self that I must be sitting on a boat load of money, because if you did believe that then you would be severely mistaken. For as much money as I can squirrel away in hopes of starting a business, taking some time off to travel, buy the things that I want and need; life, as we all know, has a funny way of stepping in and redirecting all of our plans.

And can I just say that I am tired of never being comfortable with where my account balance? Of having to triple-guess myself if that super awesome dress is really worth the money? Click the link you will see, TOTALLY worth it!

But what is a young millennial to do with champagne dreams on a Kool-aid budget?

As Donna from Parks and Recreation says:

That’s right, TREAT YO’ SELF! And doesn’t have to be anything big maybe you just take a day off from work in the middle of the week just to get your mind right or instead of scrimping for a vacation bag-packing across Europe you and your best mates take a smaller weekend trip to one of the Adult Camps, or a different city nearby.

Life is too long and too short to spend it keeping your nose to the ground slaving away to one day live the dream. Stop worrying about loosing one day’s pay (because really, who gets PTO anymore?) and go on an adventure, get a massage, have a drink or three, or take a mental holiday. Little breaks like these not only keep from cursing out your co-workers but can also aid in getting the creativity, help you re-focus/establish your own personal goals but also boost productivity.

Take it from me after 5 or so years planning and saving for that elusive “tomorrow” does leave much time to enjoy the pleasures that today may have in store for you.

So there you go a weekend prescription! TREAT YOUR SELF!

This prescription is not to be combined with any other medications you may be taking, avoid overuse as it may cause extended feelings of elation and euphoria which may lead to more serious sides effects such as; irresponsible spending, quitting your job, entrepreneurship and/or creative genius. Please consult with your local bartender if feelings persists for longer than 72 hours.

Until next time!
Sabrina

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Trending: #StopTheBeautyMadness

Ladies, what would you give to finally reclaim your body, age, skin from the grasp of the clutches of the world we call fashion? Would that kind of power and confidence change you? Would you change yourself in order to gain it?

What if I told you that you didn’t have to change a single thing about yourself physically, and all you had to do was just put fingers to keys and look at how they world and others like yourself are trying to change its self?

Would you spread the word in order for others to have that same power?

Has your curiosity been peeked? Great read on!

For those of you who haven’t heard I would like to introduce you to the #StopTheBeautyMadness campaign made up of a series of advertisements illustrating a different “madness”. The project, gives a voice to all of us to finally say, ENOUGH with impossible beauty standards that we never feel we can measure up to and have been literally, killing ourselves to achieve.

And while there are some who might see this as just another group of “fat” women condoning obesity, or whatever other crap the nay-sayers are spewing this week. You would be well informed to know that NO Stop The Beauty Madness does not only expose the issue of the larger waistlines but also; those who are naturally thin, ageism, and racism. So get your facts straight and support an amazing note worthy cause.

Don’t forget to check out the campaigns website for more information on ways to get involved and sharing your voice with this amazing group and get connected socially!

This hopefully won’t be the last you read about this project here at The Un-Life, I’m hoping that I might get the chance to have a guest blog or interview with them myself, here is hoping that it works out!

*featured image sourced from #stopthebeautymadness home page*

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The Colored Girls Hustle

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New York City, for all of its crowds, filth and bad attitudes is undeniably one of the most amazing cities in the world. Millions of tourists flood our streets, trains, ferries, parks, restaurants, buses, markets; I’m sure you get the picture we are overrun with tourists from all over the world and different walks of life. But living in the city that never sleeps requires a different sort of skill that you might not have encountered in you hometown; The Hustle, and I assure you everyone in New York City has one or more of them.

Two such New Yorkers who I had the unexpected privilege to meet last night, are Taja Lindley and Jessica Valoris two artists and friends who have come together to create Colored Girls Hustle to inspire women to live their daily lives confidently, creatively and passionately. Now that is something I can get behind!

So, on the Event:

Nestled within a converted Brownstone in Brooklyn owned by the equally amazing women of The Black Women’s Blueprint, a civil and human rights organization for both and women. We sipped on wine and perused the walls covered in tiny bits of history pertaining to the Civil Rights movement here in America (there even was a Coretta Scott King chair, that I ALMOST laid my bags in, The HORROR! Luckily before committing that particular faux pas I noticed the note attached to the seat, whew!) and dotted around the room were beautiful pieces of African Art.

Any who, back to reason why we were all there; the mix tape pre-release listening party, which they called a Mix tape Listening Salon that really spoke to the intimacy of the event, as they called us all to join the circle together to listen and commune together. Now, I’m not one much for Audience participation but even I appreciated that during their introduction to the mix tape they asked us all to introduce ourselves to the group and share what our Hustle is. Let me just tell you that by this point I had already had a bit of the wine in me (on an empty stomach, as I had just come from work, I am NOT a lightweight!) and so I’m not altogether sure what I said but I definitely got some laughs out of the group, so all in all it was a success.

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The Music:

Set to familiar sound tracks The Colored Girls Hustle allow us to experience, through their rap stylings, getting Krunk while still being conscientious. The lyrics are at times fun and light-hearted but remain true to its message of highlighting the struggle women face in their sexuality, place in society and their creative expression. To check out their songs, the mix tape is available for free download here

At the end of the evening I can say that Taja and Jessica have a vision and a style of their own are definitely two young women who are about themselves and their art from visual, spoken word, fashion (they also sell jewelry through their site) and performance art while remembering the communities that have reared them. I for one will be keeping my eye out to see what these two get up to next!

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“Catchin’ bullets wit my butt-cheeks” Really? That must be painful….

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I am a Millennial; Un-Ashamed

During my daily on-line trolling I often come across thought provoking articles or topics, that then led my on a merry day-long quest for more information. Today, that article (featured on HuffPost) is Ira Wolfe’s Why Many Unemployed Workers Will Never Get Jobs and while Wolfe does bring up many good points on of some reasons the currently unemployed may remain so. It was his comments on their overwhelming feelings of entitlement that led me back to my own considerations on Generation Y.

And seeing as I tote this blog as being an accounting of The Un-Ashamed, Un-Afraid, and Un-Apologetic life, it seemed important that I write this post about Millennial shaming.

My first encounter with Millennial shaming happened a few years ago while having a casual dinner with some older friends (professionals in their early to mid 30’s). As we were dining on decadent sushi and Japanese fried chicken at Bozu (in Williamsburg, LOVE IT!) and the libations were flowing, conversation took a natural turn to work gossip and #workfails in the office, which happened to center around one particular intern. According to the friend; she had no idea what she was doing and always sure she was right, wouldn’t listen to anyone, lazy and full of herself!

Somehow this poor girl managed to single-handedly embody all, that we are told, is wrong with new graduates entering the workforce! And what was the response this was met with? “Oh well, she is a Millennial what can you expect?”

So if you will imagine, me (at the time I must have been 21 or 22) only a few years out of college myself listening to them talk about the evil that is a Millennial, like I was at some sort of rally for the 30+ professional

With just me alone there to represent the opposition!

I, as someone who has always prided themselves as being a conscientious and hard worker, never asked any one for anything, but went out with determination for everything I wanted, felt nothing but embarrassment and spent the remainder of the evening quietly in my corner, and when pressed for comments simply nodded my head in between bites of Tako-yaki. Needless to say I was more than glad when the night was over but never forgotten.

Since then, I cringe every time I encounter a piece on Millennials in media, I mean how many times do I have read that “Gen Y (Generation Me) is unprepared, difficult to manage, narcissistic, solipsistic and too filled with a sense of entitlement to ever be major contributors to the workforce? Is it just me or are they harping on this a little too much? All this talk is really starting to make me feel a certain way about myself, and not in a good way!

But why should we feel ashamed of who we are, when we are the by products of our circumstances?

The Economy sucks and there are no jobs! Fine, so we begin to make opportunities for ourselves through any avenue available to us (ie: YouTube)

The Environment is unstable! Alright, so we devise ways to promote sustainability in our food, recreation and transportation (but those bikers need to learn to stay in THEIR lane!)

You are Narcissistic and Entitled! You’re getting a little harsh there but- We (at least not ALL of us) are not sitting around demanding what we feel we are owed! As a generation, Gen Y, has spent more time and resources to causes that support those who have less (TOMs, GAP’s Red Line, FEED, etc.) What previous generation has not wanted more than there parents had? What parent, in that case, doesn’t want more for their children?

While these sort of generational gripping is not particular to the Millennial and everyone previous to us has had there turns (*cough-cough* Baby Boomers) None the less we are your future and I refuse to be shamed for it!

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Fattitude: A Body Positive Documentary- Fighting Against the Haters

Recently, (as in the weeks leading to the creation of this blog) I have been introduced to wonderful world of Body Love and the Body Positive Movement. As someone who has struggled with her weight all her life, I can honestly say that this “movement” (some reason calling it a movement sounds wrong, why haven’t we women been loving our bodies, just as they are?) has been a long time coming and I wish I had known about it years ago. But have no fear I know about them now and I aim to join their fierce and fabulous ranks! That’s why when I saw one of my fave bloggers The Militant Baker posted on twitter today about Lindsey Avrill and Viridianna Lieberman’s project and the just plain ole nasty hate it had been receiving online I just had to spread the word too.

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What is this FATTITUDE project?
According to the documentary’s kickstarter, Fattitude is a feature-length independent documentary that exposes how fat hatred permeates our popular culture, spreading the message that fat is bad and in turn forwarding the idea that being cruel, unkind or downright unjust to a fat person is acceptable behavior. Since announcing the project Avrill and all those associated with the project have been bombarded with cyber bullies that have gone unnecessarily as far as harassing their families after being reported for abuse on Facebook and Twitter.

If you doubt for a minute that fat discrimination does indeed exist then read Avrill’s account on what has happened since announcing the project here and here If that isn’t enough just go to your favorite search engine and type in: “Fat people are/aren’t” and see what pops up in the search guide.

Ways to Help

1. Donate to the Kickstarter campaign. Every contribution counts to getting this project funded! If you can’t give, send the page along to others who might be able to!

2. Like their page on Facebook and invite your friends to do the same!

3. Spread the word through your own social media, Tweet it, Like it, Pin it and whatever else everyone out there is doing today!

Let’s stop the hate and support a good cause whether if it’s through donations or just by spreading the word. Everyone deserves the chance to love themselves!

FYI: I am in no ways connected to this project, just doing my part to support a good cause and spreading the word!

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